90s Horror Nostalgia Horror Part 1: Ernest Scared Stupid

Most people have a story about a children’s movie that traumatized them. More famous examples include the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and emergence of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. Parents comfortably allow their children to view these films only for these gruesome images to haunt them into adulthood. One example I have from childhood is when I saw a VHS with farm animals at the video rental section of our grocery store. My mom sees farm animals and figures it’s fine. She let’s me watch it home alone since everyone in the family was out of the house with various business (90s were a different time). What my mother and I didn’t realize was that this was Animal Farm (1999) based on George Orwell’s disturbing novel filled with graphic and terrifying metaphors of communism. As if it was “Old McDonald” directed by Brain Yuzna, I watched anthropomorphic animals execute each other, a horse shipped to make glue, and pigs achieve world domination. Was I disturbed? Yes. But I also was in no hurry to turn it off. I didn’t understand the larger political nuances, but I was still drawn into this horrific plot line. I know this film was never meant for children’s eyes, but it demonstrates the trust parents put in certain types of films and how children can be left feeling both terrified and intrigued. 

The movies I will be focusing on for this Nostalgia/Trauma trip through the 90s include Ernest Scared Stupid (1991) and Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999). These films demonstrate a major shift in film reactions with horror designed for children. I feel like people will be pissed about my exclusion of Hocus Pocus. I fracking love this movie (I was Thackery Binx mid-transformation for Halloween), but I wouldn’t say that it had the same traumatizing effects as these other films. I will note, however, that Sarah Jessica Parker hiding under the covers pretending to be Max’s sister, Danny, is a wonderful jump scare. 


Ernest Scared Stupid was the last film that Disney/Touchstone produced in the Ernest Franchise due to its shitty performance at the box office. Similar to Hocus Pocus, which also had a poor box office showing, this film persisted and became cemented as a cult classic. I won’t get detailed with the plot (please go watch this movie, it’s available to rent on several streaming services), but the main idea is that a century-or-so-old troll, Trantor, has returned because Ernest raised him from the tree in which he was magically concealed (yeah, Ernest is just THAT STUPID). Forget any adorable troll you’ve met in Central Park. This troll is a large, hairy, split-nostriled, slimy, growling disaster. He needs to gather a certain number of wooden dolls to reproduce and create a troll brood. Where does he get these wooden dolls? I’m glad you asked. He makes them out of live children as they release tortured screams.

This movie opened with a scene that I had to watch from behind our La-Z-boy. We’re in what appears to be late 19th century Missouri (which is honestly scary enough) as Trantor is captured and buried in a hole. Families cry as the dirt piles on, still grieving for their children who will seemingly be a wooden doll forever. A mutton-chopped reverend, Phineas (played by Ernest actor, Jim Varney) places a magical bind on the troll. Oddly enough, it was Varney’s creepy, Missouri tambour and facial hair that freaked my shit out. The screaming troll in the burlap bag was secondary. I guess my young self knew that I was much more likely to be attacked by a white, male religious zealot than a troll. We flash to the present (by that I mean, 1991) and the troll is a legend in this small town. The dark prologue/flashback transitioning to a contemporary classroom explaining the legend is nearly identical to the opening of Hocus Pocus, so I guess writers were really into this formula in the early 90s. We meet a group of kids who are all a great pals with Ernest. Oh yeah, middle aged Ernest hangs out with these kids despite the parents asking him to stop. When I was young, I thought the parents were dicks, but now I’m like, yeah, I wouldn’t let me kids hang with the childless garbage man either. Anyway, after Ernest raises Trantor (seriously, did you guys know this guy is stupid?), the kids start getting picked off one by one like some teenage slasher film. Each one’s transformation into wooden doll is terrifying and unique in its own way. I want to focus on two that play with giving children a false sense of safety and comfort. 

As one little boy walks home, his foot is yanked into a creek and he screams for help while attempting to drag himself out. Someone grabs his arm and he hears Ernest’s reassuring smoker voice. He relaxes, but when he looks up, it’s the troll’s slimy-ass teeth grinning back at him. When watching this scene as a child, it felt like that cruelest thing. The troll used a voice of a trusted adult only to brutally turn him into a doll. Early on, this film sets up the notion that your senses cannot be trusted and even if you perceive sanctuary in an individual, that sense of safety may be false. 

This notion continues with the most infamous scare from this movie (you can watch the clip here). A little background, I have always claimed that this moment has scared me more than any scene from any film ever, mostly because I was too young to handle it. My boyfriend asked two of his friends/horror super fans and they both cited this scene as well. I listened to Dead Meat’s podcast on terrifying films geared towards children and they expressed that an overwhelming amount of viewers mentioned this exact scene. It has a reputation. A girl is too frightened to join her family for Halloween festivities, because, you know, a troll is targeting children. Her flustered mother isn’t having any of it and leaves her alone in the house (again, 90s). After her mom refused to check under the bed, she scrounges up enough bravery to check herself. It’s just her Teddy bear! Thank fucking goodness, I thought it was--AHHH A TROLL! That’s right. Trantor is in this child’s bed. This large ass monster is hanging out, waiting for this small child to turn around in bed so he can give her that award winning smile. As most children are afraid of something under the bed, I grew up with the next level of terror, being afraid of something in my bed. I would be too petrified to turn around and look the other direction so I would lay frozen on one side for hours. This film again uses a false sense of safety. Children believe Teddy Bears are protectors, you are untouchable with one in your arms. Relief instantly spreads on her face and it isn’t until she sees the troll that this illusion of security is completely desecrated. 

I should note that at the end of this film, all the dolls return to their fleshy, squishy selves and run to their very relieved parents. Yes, but some of the kids from the 19th century are back and they do not look well. I’m sure they’re happy not to be dolls anymore, but now they’re stuck in an H.G. Wells nightmare.

After all of these terrors I have described, why did I watch this movie all the time, often multiple viewings in one day? My parents and sisters were flabbergasted as I hid under a blanket throughout this film but then insisted that we rewind the tape and start the tragedy all over again. I’ll never know exactly why I did this, but my theory is that I was hoping that the constant rewatches would help me understand this horror, why it scared me and how I could prevent it. I previously wrote about how horror can help people understand dark and complicated issues in their life. On some level, I wanted to explore this notion of these children blindly trusting their preconceived notions of safety and how they paid the consequences for such assumptions. Just like my mother assumed that barn animal movies were safe for children (maybe that's why high schools force this book on kids, so they don't make this same mistake).

I’ll say it again, watch Ernest Scared Stupid if you haven’t already or if you have seen it, it deserves a rewatch. I didn’t even get into the wonderfully manic performance from Eartha Kitt or how Ernest and Trantor are connected by the bizarre mob mentality that the town continually perpetuates. Be on the lookout for the Part 2 of this blog when I will cover the Disney Channel Original Movie, Don’t Look Under the Bed.